For the purpose of solidifying some of these poor souls’ dignity, I’ll leave my sources anonymous…although I really should expose them for the pieces of crap that they truly are.
one person said, on the public internet, about me…
"she works at ____________. Give that bitch a nice punch in the face for me! Thanks!!!”
another person said, on the public internet, about me…
"I want to punch her in her ugly fat face!"
this person also went on to say…
"little black and blue make up might do her a little good ;)” and “I went so long not thinking about her and now ugjhhh she just gets under my skin the way she looks walks talks and acts"
Lol, wow. Could you, after reading these comments, believe that at one point, these people were my friends?
Some good friends, huh.
I’m not trying to start shit on the internet, or anything. Because to be quite honest, I use this blog as a release for my inner disbelief and stress. If I wanted to make drama, I’d reveal the people above by name. But I haven’t done so. If you know who i’m talking about, cool. Good for you. What was said was publicly published, and I’ve been wallowing in what everyone said about me on that post for a few days, and I’ve been trying to find the words to write on this blog to express my disgust and disappointment towards what was said. If you don’t like what I have to say, close the window and go do something else.
I don’t live on this earth to cater to anyone, especially people who don’t like me.
The people who said the mentioned things about me above used to be my friends. In actuality, they were both best friends at one point in my life. And while my feelings were hurt when I read these comments about me, both from them and from people who don’t know a damn thing about me, I felt as if these words were nothing new. In my opinion, there are only so many insults you can throw at someone before it just gets old. You know what I mean? Oh yes, I know i’m a bitch, and this and that, heard it a thousand times, okay, got it. :)
Which brings me to my next point: judgement.
You see, it all starts from the top of the “food chain”, per se. At the top, there are the super rich kids, or the kids that dress and act like they are better than everyone else. You know, those girls that walk around with caked-on almost costume looking make-up and the skirts which are honestly too short for their well being? And those guys, whether GAY or straight, that dress in $100-$200 outfits, and act like you are less because you have better things to spend your money on.
These people end up hating you based on appearance. And trust me, folks, these people have their heads rammed SO far up their asses that they spread rumors, and really try to hurt those that honestly don’t deserve it.
The last person I quoted above, the one talking about the “black and blue make up” and about how I get under her skin? She was actually new to my school in the middle of my sophomore year, and we were both in a class together with a bunch of freshmen. I was, or at least I thought, I was one of her first good friends.
Then she started hanging out with the top of the food chain. To be honest, I don’t know why they didn’t devour her, with her less than supermodel appearance, but I guess her personality fit in..
anyways, this particular group of people already had it out for me to begin with, so little by little, I lost one of my friends because these girls, who probably already hate her as we speak, kept spreading rumors and turning her against me.
The funny part is, before all of the internet slander, I heard she got knocked up and married after graduation. For a while there, I debated reconnecting with her, but lol looks like I really shouldn’t waste my time after this little fiasco.
The other person I quoted above was mentioned in one of my earlier posts about my life, so to be honest, he isn’t worth the time to type about again.
The main point is this: many people face what I went through on a daily basis. While I can take what these idiots dish out to me, some can’t. And I want whoever is reading this to understand something: people who talk shit about you to this extent really don’t know you as a person in the present day, and they have nothing better to do with their lives. If you have ever been bullied, or ridiculed, realize this: in 10 years, you are statistically more likely to turn out better than any of the kids who said shit about you before.
Ever since I was little, I’ve always played video games. <3
Yeah, yeah, get out all the gamer girl jokes out now, because I just don’t give a shit.
It all started with this little “legend” above. My grandpa received a SNES for his birthday, or christmas, or some other reason, shortly after I was born. When I went over to my grandparents’ house, I would sit for literally hours watching my grandpa play The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. This game excited me, at two years old, to no known end. Seeing my grandpa fight off these bad guys and save these maidens, and eventually Princess Zelda, it all left me mesmerized.
I still remember the day he beat the game, and he took a short break. Then he came back into the room, fired up the console, and handed the controller to me.
That may be the best day of my life. No joke.
It took hundreds of hearts, rupees, time, and effort, but at the age of 4, I defeated Ganon :D I was barely out of pull ups, and I was playing video games. After that, I started playing Super Mario, Donkey Kong, and the works.
I can’t remember which one game first after I was introduced. The Gameboy Color, or the N64.
oh well, i’ll tell you both stories.
One year, a family adopted my family to provide us with a decent christmas. I remember all I wanted that year was a pink gameboy color! I wanted Zelda, and Mario games. Thankfully, this family really gave back, and gave me that pink gameboy, along with a Zelda game, a Mario game, and a game i’d like to refer to as “pokemon”.
The Zelda and Mario games were great, as always. I spent hours playing them, however, I did lose my gameboy somewhere along the road, and i’ve missed those games ever since. Thankfully, I recently purchased a Nintendo 3DS, and I actually could buy these games again! The games brought tears to my eyes, as I remembered a really happy part of my childhood (which were few and far between).
But pokemon…hahaha it was love at first sight. <3
I *think* the first Pokemon game I got was Pokemon Yellow! And before christmas that year, I had never heard of Pokemon. I was so intrigued in this game, this different style of having fun. Pokemon wasn’t like zelda, or mario. It was something different, and out of all my brothers, I played Pokemon the most. I still do to this day :)
So then my dad got an N64 for christmas one year, which he couldn’t even figure out. It came with “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time”. My dad didn’t know how to play, or the concept behind it, but I sure did! I played that game a lot, as well as Super Mario 64, and DK64 :D And there was like this one game called “beetle bash” where you raced VW beetles, and there was another one called “demolition derby 64” which my brothers and I always played together. I love recalling these memories..
We also had a PSX and PS2. I used to watch my mom play Crash Bandicoot, and Tetris. My dad and I used to play this baseball game which allowed you to play baseball in a field located on the floor of a living room. Your players were miniature, and you could break things, and get bonuses. <3 gamecube was also huge: I remember Mario Party game nights, the legend of zelda: wind waker, and super mario sunshine <3
Now I play XBOX 360 and Wii. I’ve been into Final Fantasy since the 7th one in the series. I’m currently on the sequel to the 13th. I also pick up Black Ops from time to time, as well as a few other titles. On wii, I pretty much play zelda, mario, and virtual console games, as well as Gamecube games! <3
I hope my gaming career continues in a recreational path, and I can one day share this love with my kids <3
as many of you may know, I have dealt with chronic lower back and leg pain and spasms for close to three years now. At first, the pain wasn’t constant…eh, maybe every other month following my rear end collision in November 2009. And then the pain would rear its ugly head every month, then every few weeks, then every few days…
for the past two months, I have dealt with this pain every single day.
I don’t think a lot of you know what it’s like to have to take medication which ruins your whole day. I can’t ever drive myself anywhere, and it’s getting difficult to even take care of myself.
Guess what? Last night I ended up in the emergency room, with a sciatic flare up. These flare ups break through my maintenance medications, almost like a slight headache vs. a severe migraine. Sometimes, there is no stopping the pain on your own. I used to get them on a rare occasion, but recently they have become more frequent recently.
I have been accused of drug addiction twice by this particular hospital. The thing which breaks my heart the most is I know in my heart, I am in chronic pain, and they will never know what it is like to walk a mile in my shoes. I have fought through some of the most painful moments in my life: from some idiot pain management doctor not injecting enough local anesthesia during spinal cord injections, to having injections which have made the pain worse, to falling down the stairs when one of my legs went weak. I have fought hard. I have explored every option. The doctors still don’t know what’s wrong with me, either. Pathetic, huh?
The other sad part is this: I want to be just like these doctors. I want to have a professional career in the medical field. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for just about my whole life.
I remember playing doctor with my friends when I was in preschool, and all the girls wanted to be nurses, but I had to fight with the boys to play as the doctor. :D
Anyways, back from memory lane, I laid there for four hours almost (which made the pain even WORSE), before I was treated and released. I am doing a little better right now, but I have chosen to pursue a surgical route.
I know many of you may be in the same predicament I am in. I know you are in pain. But last night, I laid there in the hospital and looked up to the sky and kept asking God as to why he puts me through so much pain. I cried for at least two hours straight. I heard the doctor from last time trash talk me to my nurse right outside my exam room, since the last time, I was unaware that if I was enrolled in Pain Management (which, thank god, I no longer am a part of) FOR SPINAL INJECTIONS ONLY (not for medication), they couldn’t treat me, so they laid me there for SIX hours (yes, SIX!!!!!) before telling me that, and of course I got upset and stormed out (oh, and this was AFTER I was lectured for 15 minutes about how terrible to my body my meds can potentially be).
These idiot doctors don’t get this one bit: I may even lose my own job over this! I work at a wonderful pharmacy, with the greatest of co-workers. But since i’ve been there for only a short time, they are not very keen on giving out medical leave to a part time worker. Of course, I did request the time off, because I figured having some time off my feet, in conjunction with possible surgery and physical therapy, some results will finally arise. My ortho completely agreed, and had no problem filling out the paper work.
It won’t be so bad if I have to wait for my medical leave, though. My probationary period as a new hire ends 3/11/12. So it’s like two or three weeks away!
The point is this: I realized, while looking up at the hospital ceiling last night, that it does not matter what anyone else thinks. Not these doctors, not my family, not anyone. Because in the eyes of the Lord, I am no drug addict. I am no junkie. I am an empowered young, aggressive woman, who will get through this, regardless of what course my life will take. I plan on doing everything possible for myself, whether it be more injections, or painful physical therapy, or even surgery.
I know there are others out there who are just as frustrated, and angry, and pissed off, and in pain as I am. I know there are people who are in even more pain than myself. But I hope my experiences, and how I few things help change someone’s life. Please share your stories with me, as maybe we can cope and get through our pain (whether it be emotional or physical) together.
For the time being, I’m awaiting my gamecube games in the mail :D I am one happy camper! It’s nice to go back to a time where I didn’t have to worry about being in pain… :’(
Something has been irking me for a long time, so you know what? I really feel the need to talk about this subject:
Many may say that I don’t have the right to speak on such matter, since i’ve only been involved in two relationships: one which ended badly, and one which has ended badly many times. But I know what it’s like to be in love with someone. I was in love for three years almost with my first boyfriend, and now I’m in a long term relationship with someone who I know I love with all my heart. It’s taken the whole year and a half to grow this love, like a plant. Love needs nurturing. Love needs time. Love needs a lot of different things over an extended period of time.
but guess what…
YOU DON’T LOVE YOUR BOYFRIEND AFTER TWO FREAKING WEEKS.
I’m sorry, but you just don’t.
You may have strong feelings for him. You may have lust for him, and you may also be mildly confused. Because a lot of people confuse lust for love, and they are two different dimensions of a relationship. Stating that you ‘love’ someone after two weeks of dating gives off an almost…dare I say it…trashy, desperate vibe. It almost makes me vomit, honestly. You don’t love anyone, yet. Your love plant hasn’t even sprouted.
You see, there is a medical explanation for this, and it’s actually the excess release of endorphins during the first two to four weeks in to a relationship. These endorphins, or “happy feeling” hormones are triggered by the thought, sight, touch, or idea of a new girlfriend or boyfriend. So technically, you don’t love your boyfriend, you love the fact that you actually have one. When your body gets your endorphin releases under control, things become normal in your “relationship” and you start to miss “the way things used to be” (sound familiar?). You are technically falling out of love with having a boyfriend, because the endorphins aren’t there anymore. But from that point, endorphins will start to release at the proper moments, allowing for you to fall in love with you boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s when you kiss, hug, say certain things, etc. and you get those butterflies in your stomach, and your heart starts to beat fast. Over time, you will build love in your conscious mind, and not in your hormones.
It’s just really annoying to see all these stupid, hormonal teenagers saying how much they love each other, when medically speaking, you really don’t. -____-
I hate it, honestly. And if I didn’t have internet pen pals and friends who didn’t live around here, i’d get rid of the stupid thing.
Foremost, it’s the root of all drama. I remember hearing all the bitching in school about Facebook he said she said, and now as adults. “oh well she put this on Facebook! oh he put that on Facebook”
SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET A LIFE.
FACEBOOK IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
It’s so stupid, in more ways than you could even imagine. Some use Facebook to gloat about how GREAT their lives truly are. Really? Gloating about that nice new car you got from mommy and daddy, and posting about you $500 hair extensions just reveals you as your true form:
Be real with yourself: have you ever scrolled down your newsfeed, and thought “jeez, someone needs to shut that bitch up!”
I have. MANY TIMES.
And the WORST part about Facebook is, if someone views your profile, they AUTOMATICALLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
no, sorry bitch, you don’t.
It came across to me, that some of my boyfriend’s friends “knew” me by looking at my Facebook. This came up in a conversation about each of our social networks, and how we were going to mingle with each others friends. Chris said, “well my friends don’t like you because of your Facebook”
that was my legitimate face in real life.
I mean, I use Facebook primarily to make my friends laugh, and to communicate with them. I post stupid things that, while your friends may not find funny, my friends and I do. I just couldn’t get over the fact that they thought they knew me, when they hadn’t even taken the time to visit me and meet me in real life.
I think that goes to show where our world is going today. Everything is so impersonal. I mean, even when you go to restaurants and try to have a good time, you usually end up with some pissed off waiter or waitress that hates her job, and that in turn, usually ruins your night. Hell, I remember when you could get decent service at McDonalds. Now, you go through the drive through here in Westminster, and theres some dumb bitch on the other side who is just SCREAMING through the mic, and then gives you an attitude when you just want a small fry and a bottle of water.
I, on the other hand, use Facebook as a tool, like I mentioned earlier, to keep in contact with some of my friends, especially since graduation. But you can always use Facebook to get a glimpse of what someone is like. For instance, if you see someone who is pale, with black hair, and an Insane Clown Posse T-shirt on, with statuses that suggest that she is mentally disturbed, you know she’s probably going to be anti-social, and different than most people. That is a fair assessment. But you shouldn’t confirm that opinion until you AT LEAST speak with her, even if it IS over Facebook.
It’s a little different with sluts, and I’m sorry, but you girls really put yourself out there for this one. I know QUITE a few “girls” from my graduating class, who I would consider to be very…how to put this nicely…oh fuck it, whores. You know those girls, who take the full-body mirror shots of them bending over with their cleavage showing? Yep, them. Or the ones who take “red solo cup” pictures when they are shit faced drunk in some skimpy outfit at some shady party? YES THOSE GIRLS.
Funny, because those girls in real life try to portray themselves as NICE, NAIVE, and INNOCENT.
I have one thing to say about you: you are all disgusting. I mean, come on. Do you have nothing better to do with your lives, other than show off your cleavage and drink until not even your own mother thinks your pretty? Does it kill you inside knowing that men only friend request you for boobs, and not for your “personality” like they tell you when they instantly message you? Get your shit together, girls. Because if you don’t, you will regret it.
this is my open book, and I plan on sharing all of it with you
Life. What exactly is life? Is life the dandelion you pluck out of the green earth and carelessly blow it’s seeds into the wind? Or is life the homeless man who lives in the cardboard box three blocks away from your cozy, warm house? Is life the conception of a happy couple’s first child? Or is life the death of an innocent child by the hand of abuse?
You may feel a bit lost at this point, but i’m actually using tumblr as a blog (i’m fairly sure that’s what it was meant to be in the first place, before a bunch of 16 year old virgins got a hold of the internet, and thought tumblr was a cool place to post pictures of love/sex scenes they could only dream to take part in).
Life is complicated at it’s best, and a war at it’s worst. And I plan on using this blog to share my life, my opinions, and my views on society, in hopes that I can find some others who feel the same way that I do.
I really want to share things. That’s my main goal. Whether it be a recipe I made my family last night, or an opinion on a heated topic in society.
You still may be asking why I named this blog “life, and all it’s happiness”…well, to be honest, I feel that there is happiness in every aspect of life. I will use this blog to vent, but at the end of every entry, I will try to find peace, or closure, or something to take away from what’s bothering me.
I’ve been through a lot in my life, and I plan on sharing my personal advice in hopes of reaching out to others who may be in the same predicament that I found myself in at a previous point throughout my time here on this earth.
If I can change how one person’s life, I have changed the world.